I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
