Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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