remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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