What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
