I'm lost and stupid without you.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
