Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
why do cheetos always look like penises
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
