oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
