she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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