He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
home. puking in laundry basket.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
