I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
