YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
