We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
