i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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