They should really pass out barf bags in church
well you can't waste a boner
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize