please come you make the beer taste better
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
