i think i have herpe
just one?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
