we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
someone threw a dead crab at me
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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