i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
