I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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