goodnight i made you a song goodbye
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
