omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
