My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
