I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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