the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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