the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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