I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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