omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
