he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
