my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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