So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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