Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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