so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
