We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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