i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
