if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Randomize
