i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize