she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
