Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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