Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize