Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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