why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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