I can text with my tongue
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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