Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
