Sponge bath it is.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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