we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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