how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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