chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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