I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
