opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
