Christians are straight up FREAKS
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
