I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
