At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
