well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
