For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
