you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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