break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
