I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
