how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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