we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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