bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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