I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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