I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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