who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
