So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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