$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
