his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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