I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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