so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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