walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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