I'm jealous of your bromance
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
