Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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