WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
