before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
